News of Next Step

I’ve been quiet here, waiting for the word of where we – well, they – are going from here. And of course, by “they”, I mean the IPs.

I’ve seen several of the surrogates thrown under the bus by fertility clinics – myself included, with the old IPs. My best guesses for this are as follows:

1. The clinics want to keep their success rates up. Therefore, they kind of sweep some of these surrogacy fair transfers under the rug. (completely my conjecture, I have nothing to back this up).
2. From what I’ve heard it costs a few thousand dollars to screen a potential candidate for surrogacy. A few thousand. I’m fairly certain the mark up on this screening is pretty huge – it consists of an ultrasound, a sonohysterogram, about 8 vials of blood, and a psychiatric screening. Now, again I have nothing to back this up – but if you make a couple screen potential surrogates more than once = more money for the clinic??

I know neither one of those makes it seem like I have a very high opinion of fertility clinics … and well, I do and I don’t. Do I think they do amazing work? Absolutely. Do I also think they rob devastated, emotional wrought people absolutely blind? Yep, I sure do. Just sayin’.

Having been thrown under the bus previously, I was half thinking that would happen again. The clinic was unable to meet with my IPs over Skype until mid-November, so we had all been waiting … and waiting.

As it turns out, the doctor thinks with the IPs and me as their surrogate, we have a good chance. I’m choosing to have faith in that declaration!

The new plan is to give IM medication to strengthen her eggs, and to line up our cycles so that we can do a fresh transfer! It’s tentatively planned for January 2015.

I’m so beyond excited to be able to continue on this journey with these amazing IPs. They asked me if I would talk to the doctor and consider continuing with them … and my response was of course I will talk to the doctor, but my answer in regards to continuing with them was YES and I didn’t need to talk with him to know that.

They sent me a reply email which just moved me beyond belief – they told me that “… you give us strength and are one of main reason to continue. Everything is much easier since we have you with us! THANK YOU!”

Now I know that not everyone understands why I feel driven to do this, why I keep on keeping on through a year and a half of interruptions to my own life, crazy medications, emotional ups and downs … and I’ll never be able to give those people a definitive response as to why, but I hope that gives you a little insight. In relation to what they have gone through, in relation to not being able to bear your own children … what I have “gone through” is so very minimal. As with all the life experiences I’ve had, what I’ve experience through this process has offered me opportunities to grow and expand my world view. It’s brought my family closer (did I mention that my 9 and 7 year kids administer my needles?) in a common goal that we all feel a part of – and kids don’t see the potential downside, they always say “WHEN we have a baby for the IPs”. They roll with the ups and downs, always with their eyes on the prize – it’s inspiring, actually.

Right now my family, and I’m sure yours, is in full on holiday mode. All kinds of other stuff falls to the wayside during holiday prep! I’ve had this drafted to the end of the last paragraph since the last week of November and there it sat. My friend, A – you know who you are- texted me and said “You haven’t blogged in an awfully long time … just sayin’.” This one is for you, my friend. I’ve spent all day Christmas baking, but I’ll take a minute and finish this post for you! And on top of that, I’ll let you borrow my kids for crafting in a couple days. You’re welcome.

Hopefully the first week of the New Year will bring me news of protocol and transfer & I will be back to share that with you … in the meantime, enjoy your family, holidays, & however you choose to celebrate the last couple weeks of 2014.


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