Needle Nerves

I am dwelling. I shouldn’t dwell on things (read: worry … dwell just sounds a little better) that I have no control over, right? There’s no point in dwelling on things, as the act of dwelling does nothing to change the event itself, just robs me of my piece of mind until then.

Does this logic ever seriously stop people from worrying?! Maybe it does. Maybe some people are able to talk sense into themselves, but most of the time I don’t fit into that category.

I have to have a shot tomorrow. It is being done at home, so either I have to administer it myself, or my husband does. He has agreed to do it for me (while trying not to cackle with glee at the thought of stabbing in me in the ass with a needle).

This shot is called Lupron, and it’s not one that I had to do last go-around. As a matter of fact, I had no needles last time (aside from having blood drawn). This time, there are two kinds of needles … and I’m nervous. I don’t like needles. I’m not the avoid-at-all-costs, faint-at-the-sight type. I haven’t fainted at one yet, and I even have a tattoo. I just don’t particularly like them. And if I were having it done at the doctor’s, I wouldn’t be dwelling … but there’s something about having to do it at home that is bothering me.

Lupron, at least the kind I’ve been given, is a one shot deal (so to speak) and is a one month, slow release dosage. The doctor explained to me that it basically disconnects the brain from the ovaries. The video I youtubed tonight says it controls the pituitary … basically giving the doctors control over my cycle and not allowing my body to enter a normal cycle.

After this shot, I don’t have to take anything (aside from folic acid, naturally!) until I start estrogen mid-September. I’ve heard the Lupron can have a dramatic effect on some women’s moods and rationality … and some not at all. Obviously, I’m aiming to fall into the latter category. It’s always good to have goals! But past behaviour on any kind of birth control tells me that just might not be the case.

Anyways- it’s the middle of the night and I should be sleeping … so sweet dreams & wish me luck!

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