Look Out for That Bus!

As I mentioned, I parted ways with my previous Intended Parents.

After one failed transfer, they were concerned that I had medical issues that contributed to the failure.

I disagree, and my explanation of what went down is likely going to sound very biased towards myself! Perhaps I am viewing the situation the way I want to see it, but here goes:

Old IPs had split an egg donation with another couple, and there were 14 resulting eggs which were then turned into embryos. The other couple got pregnant off the fresh transfer, and all other frozen transfers failed. The IPs went through 5 of their 7 embryos prior to meeting me, and none of them were successful.

I do, as previously mentioned, have auto-immune issues. All 4 doctors involved in this process were in full possession of my medical history, and the fertility clinic also runs you through numerous tests to determine your suitability as a surrogate. Their clinic was the one that requested the tests, and received the results.

So, needless to say, I was quite surprised that after the failed transfer, this same clinic said “I would never have been considered as a potential surrogate through their clinic.” The reasons cited were my “health concerns” and my “inability to take progesterone in oil shots” which I will explain below. To me, all of this begs the question- why then did they pass me after my medical screening, and perform the embryo transfer? I was left feeling like I was completely thrown under the bus.

In regards to the progesterone, I had asked if it were a possibility to take progesterone in another form, aside from the needles of progesterone in oil. I was concerned for my skin, as it already takes a beating from the psoriasis, and I’ve seen some of the reactions that other girls in the online surro group have had. I was assured it wasn’t an issue (it seems like about half and half in the surro group do needles vs other forms- the drug protocol is unique to the doctor or clinic), and they wrote me a prescription for the pills. After, it was said that my “inability to take the needles” was an issue – when I thought all I did was inquire about the possibility.

I talked to some other girls who have had similar experiences when the clinic suddenly deems them “not a candidate” after a couple or a few failed transfers.

This bothers me on a couple levels – one being, we obviously passed the medical screening in the first place. Another being, if we really aren’t a candidate, then why are they wasting thousands of the IPs dollars to do a transfer??

This post sounds a little more like a rant than I originally intended. It’s obviously a touchy subject for me, but also one I need to let go.

My slightly bruised feelings aside, I am definitely a subscriber to the “what is meant to be will be” and/or “everything happens for a reason”. Take your pick! I feel that there are reasons – bigger than me & unknowable by me – why things went down the way they did.

And so we go onwards, and upwards!


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