First Time Fail

I’ll put in some back story in my next few posts, but I’ll start with where we are at today.

And that is with a BFN, as it’s called. A Big Fat Negative. It’s been a little under three weeks since the embryo transfer. This past Monday was the blood test where you get final word on the success or failure of the transfer.

It’s been emotionally trying for me- I can’t begin to imagine what it’s been like for the Intended Parents. And they aren’t saying much to me, so imagining is all I have at this point.

I don’t think I need to be their confidante or person to lean on, I’m fairly sure that isn’t my job. I’m happy to listen if needed, but at the same time- I feel like I’ve put a lot into this process already. To give myself over as a sounding board when I tend to take on other peoples emotions … well, I feel like a little distance at this point is healthy for all of us.

I don’t know where we stand for another transfer at this point. This transfer used the last two embryos they had, so it would require them finding a new egg donor. I’m not familiar with the ins and outs of that side of it. In the contract I agreed to four transfers in a year, so I’m good to go should they decide to keep trying.

Right now, I’m working on remembering that most things are just plain out of my control. And that’s ok. >


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