Working through resentments

There are many things that I try to work on in my life, and one of them is not building resentments.  I felt like that was starting to happen with this new found distance with me and the IPs.  To quote my wonderful mother, I had to put on my Big Girl Panties and do something about it.  (Which is also the advice I get re: killing spiders, and generally doing anything I am procrastinating on or whining about. 🙂 )

In order to keep this process as healthy and happy as possible, I did write my IPs an email, explaining how I was feeling and asking that they confirm that they were still committed to this process.  It’s such an interesting situation – you get tossed into a fairly intimate relationship with virtual strangers.  They live a fair distance away as well, so I won’t even meet them for a while yet.  Working at being honest and above board about how we are all feeling is going to be the only way to move forward.  There is, however, a fair amount of faith involved in taking someone’s word on their honesty.  

The explanation I got was that there were other things going on in their lives that needed priority.  Things are coming back to us being on the same page.  I am working on taking their explanation at face value – I do tend to over analyze and write out scripts in my head.  Part of working through the resentments is realizing that some of them had no basis in reality in the first place.  

Onwards and upwards.  The next test is next week, a sonohysterogram – basically from my understanding, an ultrasound where they fill the uterus full of saline solution and check out to make sure all’s well in there.  Sounds like fun, no?  

And the cleanse/ diet change continues.  The official cleanse part is over, so I am slowly reintroducing “real” food.  The biggest revelation for me was how full I felt just eating vegetables.  It really made me question my mindset on different types of food.  (And I am mildly concerned that at some point, I may actually turn into a piece of broccoli … it’s fast becoming my new staple.)

My IM told me last night how grateful she is that I am doing so much to make this happen for them.  I appreciate that she sees that this is not just to manage my symptoms while doing this for them, but also just to make my body a healthier place, in hopes that it helps this process.  


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. anashayne
    Jun 21, 2013 @ 16:15:53

    Beautiful. Stick to it. That’s wonderful you’re doing the very most you can. 🙂 I hope all goes well. 😀


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