Online Matching

I met my husband back in like 1996 or something.  We started dating in January of 1997.  A long loooong time ago at any rate.  We met at a career college, liked each other, and he asked me on a date.  That’s a little simplified, but the basic backbone of how it went!  I never dated in a world of online dating sites, social media, text messages … I’m pretty sure we used to talk on a regular old corded home phone even. 

I remember that the Internet was around, but it was pretty new.  Cell phones were there too, but they weren’t all that common as far as I could tell.

Why am I explaining this?  Because I feel like I’ve almost experienced online dating now.  I have my profile listed on the Surrogacy website along with the other surros, and we have statuses that proclaim us:  “Available!”  “Tentatively Matched!” and “Matched!”.  The Intended Parents, their profiles are there as well … “Searching!”, “Matched!”  and the desired final result: “Matched and Pregnant!”.

We have to fill out applications about ourselves, and what we want in our future “Match”.  We get contacted by people who like our profiles.  We get to say whose profiles attracts us.  I even got complimented on my smile 🙂 

Then we have to exchange small talk via email, progress on to phone conversations, Skype, etc.  (Yes, that’s about the limit of my knowledge – apparently some people FaceTime.  I didn’t dare ask.)

Then it comes.  Decision time!  Who will you pick?  Will they want you as well?!  Oh, the suspense! 


Here is what I now know:

I never would have been an online dater.  It turned me into an obsessive-compulsive email checker.  Not pretty!  And I was never meant to be a serial dater.  I felt like a fraud and a cheat talking to more than one set of people.   Telling a couple “No” felt like breaking up with them.  It felt like a hurtful and mean thing to do, when at the heart of this, I wanted to do it to be nice.

Basically, I barely survived the few Intended Parents I did speak with — it was an intense and emotional experience.  And for the record, if I had ever tried to date in the online dating world, I would have folded like a cheap suit under the pressure.



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