Slow Leak

I feel like I am holding this Big Thing inside me.  I’ve been telling people that I am going to be a surrogate – a little here, a little there … kind of like a slow leak.  But because the majority of people in my life don’t know about this journey that I/ we are embarking on, it still sits in my chest like a Big Thing.

It makes me a little anxious, this Big Thing.   Oh, I know it will shrink to a Normal Sized Thing in time, as these things tend to do.  I don’t even think I want to hurry that process along by letting more of it out (in my regular world).  Part of the reason I decided to write here was to give myself a bit of an outlet, slightly more anonymous than like outing myself on FaceBook right away, for instance.  But then it turned out that this is one more thing I’m not telling people, and it kind of added to the Big Thing. 

Well, that was counter-productive.

So I’ve leaked it’s existence to a few people now.  And I’ll continue my Slow Leak about this Big Thing to the people in my life.

Honestly, part of me just wants to skip this part and get to the having the baby for someone part.  There is a lot of lead up to it.






2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Vic
    Jun 14, 2013 @ 17:23:17

    Well put! It’s not a secret to hide, but it’s also not a general everyday occurrence. I was surprised to know you had decided to do this; for about a half a minute. It’s an amazing gift you’re giving that everyone understands to some degree, and you are just the type of person that I would want in my corner helping me… if my kids didn’t basically appear in my life when they felt like it 🙂 You will always have people with questions for you, but mostly admiration! Hold tight to your inner strength and borrow what you need to from those that love you. Cause we do!


  2. Tracy
    Nov 06, 2014 @ 02:05:05

    I am so happy it leaked to me! It has made me teary a couple of times since I heard about the journey because I am so proud to count such a wonderful, giving, loving woman among my closest friends!
    Hugs, Tracy


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